Is dating for 5 years too long


CNN: What characteristics do you see in couples who are "a little bit married"? It's the sense your life together is moving in unison.For example, the day-to-day staple activities are done together.Would you ever give your significant other an ultimatum, and how long would you wait?My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. I know we're still young, but I'm very ready to be engaged and then married.But not all long-term couples will be heading down the aisle, according to Hannah Seligson's book, "A Little Bit Married." Seligson explores the trend of serious twenty- and thirty-something couples who invest years and even a decade in a relationship without the intention of ever getting married.Just because a couple plays house by cohabitating or taking vacations with each other's families, that doesn't necessarily equate to marriage, Seligson said. Her book, released earlier this year, combines scientific research and interviews with more than 160 couples who are "a little bit married." CNN asked Seligson about these lengthy relationships, cohabitation and advice for couples who are in long-term relationships.

Seligson: My baseline is one year in a monogamous relationship.

He is always ready to make a date for tonight or this weekend but rarely makes plans for the distant future.

For instance, you ask him to plan a romantic vacation for next year and he acts hesitantly telling you, "That sounds great, but let's wait until it gets closer before booking the flight and hotel." 2.

Do you see this as someone you are making big sacrifices and life decisions around?

Are you factoring the other person into your long-term decisions? You can move across the country to a city you hate because your boyfriend or girlfriend has a job there.

While this conversation might be uncomfortable, explain that you want to get everything laid out on the table in one knock-down, drag-out session so you can have a clear picture of your both of your futures—and make sure those pictures match up. You don't need to "accidentally" leave magazines open to pictures of engagement rings lying around the house or remind him that so-and-so got engaged on their two-year anniversary.

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